Hey Wendylon Yes same time zone. It's now 1430hrs, so 19hrs or so of silence. He has told me in the past when there was NC after anni no show that he kept chkg phone - bless, that's what we do!
I doubt he's doing that tho cos he's working If nothing from him later, i'll txt tonight to tell him work on hse started this a.m
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
Tumbling, I've just caught up with your texting saga. Why not just stop texting and see what he does? He'll definitely text you. It might not be today or even tomorrow. But this will get him to think about you. It'll make him wonder.
Oh, and thank you for all the help you've given me!
UPDATE 1430 I sent a blank text. I don't know why I did that!?! And then I was really busy at work and forgot that I sent it 1835 he text "Got a blank text from you? x" (6) 1900 I text "Dunno how that happened, not on purpose x" (7) - what was I supposed to say?
I really don't know why I did that...? I hope he doesn't think it was a game...was it subconsciously? Nothing since.
I'm excited about the work on the hse so I have taken some photos on my phone and am going to share them. That's what I have done in the past when things were done & he was away on business.
I will just write "work started today" It should be done by Friday He drives back Saturday, I think He might say he will come check it out on the w/e - who knows? But there is now lots of admin stuff and mail for him that needs to be dealt with by end of month. What I need to do is not leave gaps in my w/e just in case. I AM the priority and if he wants to see me he will have to fit around my plans - better make some then!
>I agree I SHOULD stop texting Tori to see what he does. Already he didn't text last night which had become a regular exchange. It usually takes 5 days. Which will take me to the w/e
I do want to share the hse stuff tho not as a prompt but because it's our home and this is work we both wanted doing.
I'm rubbish I just sent the photos with "Work began today" Now returning to leaning back.
Some thoughts... >I am really happy that H and I have maintained contact since that first "Good Morning" from him on 25 September - i.e he hasn't caved. >I am really pleased with my non-demanding/no pressure (180) >I am really pleased that I didn't spew about not downloading music on Sun (180) >I am really content with my GAL and focus more on me than R - apart from when I am here of course
I don't know why I am experimenting w "missing a turn" and anyways I've stepped in with the hse photos. The easy to-ing and fro-ing of our coms has been good. My last couple of texts have been cooler than others...is that a problem?
O and I'm scared that this means of coms will just continue when he comes back. I'm ok w texting whilst he's away but I think it's inappropriate when he's 20mins drive away and working normal hours. I would rather talk...I'm the same with everyone these days - txtng is so impersonal. What I will not do is pressure to talk.
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
2 years ago today H said ILYBINILWY I can't believe it was 2 years ago I bet he doesn't realise this anniversary
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
Just lost my reply to you! It's the day for electronic glitches. By the way, do you really not know how you texted him a blank text? Were you checking to see if he'd texted you?
Are you sure your H is still interested in work to the house? If he is, let him initiate. If he may not be, leave it and don't talk about it. Either way, I'd let him put in the work to get info.
By the way, I hope you've downloaded the music yourself now. That was great not prompting him.
Good luck with leaning back. I imagine it will be hard for you not to try to get him talking instead of texting but resist.
I'm looking forward to more signs of you going dim and then hopefully seeing him stepping up to the plate a bit. I guess you could continue the way you've been going but it looks as if the dynamic needs a bit of a jolt for something else to happen. When tempted to initiate, post here instead!
I hope you don't mind my directive advice. I trust you'll ignore whatever doesn't seem right for you.
Good night, Tumbling.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
Wendylon's advice rings true to me, Tumbling. If your H doesn't ask about the house work, don't share the pics. And I doubt he remembers the 2-year anniversary...I think it's us, the LBS's who remember those dates. It doesn't mean much that he doesn't remember. He probably was thinking it before then.
You are doing great, and if you ever feel the urgent need to text him or just want to vent, you have this board :-)
Tumbling, Working the home is such a great GAL!!! Enjoy it because you benefit from it! Don't look at the 2yr date as an anniversary just as an event that occurred.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Thank you Wendylon, Tori and Veroprado for coming by. Your words help alot to remain focused on DBing.
Question - why do you want me to be dimmer, Wendylon? Am i too available?
Quick update as I have just come from my first Spanish class - GAL I've wanted to learn it for ages (already speak French) so finally I booked a course.
Anyways I had sent H the pics earlier last night and then when I went to bed, I text night as usual.
Later he text "Looking good, Tumbling :)" (3) I replied immediately (why can't I sit on my hands?) "I think so too!" (4) He text "night night x" (2) I didn't reply as I had already said that earlier
This morning he text "Good morning Tumbling x" (3)* I wrote the same 30mins later
*That is different - there have been no morning texts for weeks. Don't know what that means, if anything. It was nice to get it, as not expected.
Don't know whether to text "good night" as I am soon to bed. But I don't like being the initiator and it sets expectations of an answer. Decided I will reply if he sends me one, if I'm not asleep.
Musing Next week it will be the anniversary of his ex's death which was the catalyst for him leaving last year (2nd time) after only being home 6wks. I don't know how to acknowledge it, if he brings it up. I'm concerned it might trigger some kind of response in him which will mean he detaches from me. He doesn't usually remember significant dates but he might remember that?
I remember him saying that he felt bad that they never made friends after splitting up and he never got to say sorry for treating her the way he did when they were together (which was similar to treatment of me) i.e. once together stopped spending time with her, ignored her needs, unable to communicate feelings, when she challenged him, he felt bad etc
Any ideas of how to prepare for that?
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
He text me, he text me! He did the night, night text before me - something different today w H...? I wonder if he's back in the area and hasn't told me as there have been no morning texts and his night nights have been past 2300hrs while on business not the regular 2220hrs Am not going to ask if he's home. Have not replied yet as not in bed!
