I hate this email, I hate this, I hate us, I hate what we have become, I hate the decisions that are going to have to be made, and I hate not knowing whether I’ll be happy with them either way, I hate that either way people get hurt, I hate that I’m the cause of hurt now. I hate that I can cry at the drop of a hat.
Interesting. I have a feeling that this is what goes on in nearly every WAS's head at some point. They very rarely verbalize it or commit it to paper, but it's no doubt in their thoughts. I agree with Tori, just ignore it. It's more likely just your W sorting through her thoughts and it spilled out into the email. If she wants to bring it up in person then that's fine, it would be a good time to show off your listening skills and validate her emotions.
Originally Posted By: afa75
**Need help in discriminating the difference between Validation and Comforting.
Example comment: "I am so mad right now, I washed my clothes and they all turned pink!"
Validating would be something like this: "Wow, I bet that made you really angry, I'm sorry you're so upset about it."
It's basically acknowledging emotions and repeating them back.
Comforting would be more like this: "There, there dear, it's nothing to worry about, we'll go buy you new clothes!"
If your spouse is expressing emotions, "comforting" (when it comes to DB'ing) can sound more like you're trying to fix your spouse's problems or convince them that their emotions are not important, so typically "validating" is more appropriate.
