My thought process is that I went all "super-scary-alpha" and with that whole alpha/beta balance thing my only possibly saving grace is to be beta for awhile.
Kicking her out is not an alpha move. I don't think you understand what being alpha is. Alpha is all about being confident, assertive, bold and being a leader. It's not about being a jerk. This is no time to go 100% beta on her, that's part of why you are where you are right now.
From everything you've described it sounds like you keep reverting to doormat status and you're right back there again. As MrBond said, you've surrendered all control to her again. You keep swinging to these crazy extremes when you need to be somewhere between. You've really been all over the place on practically a daily basis, it's no wonder she's confused. You've already said you're in financial trouble and she's contributing nothing, what are you actively doing to change this situation?
