Sorry Starsky, I just had to laugh. I'm pretty sure she knows that she decided to have an affair and she also knows that I know, so IMO to reiterate it here has only one purpose, to make her feel guilty for it and rub her face in it.
I'm not saying I don't feel like doing that every so often but I'm glad that I learned to control my behaviour on this stuff. It just doesn't fit with the way I want to handle things right now.
Arsene, let me be clear about one thing and then I'll drop this. I am NOT saying for YOU to initiate ANY statement similar to the one I laid out. I agree, that would be attacking and blaming and make you look weak.
I am ONLY recommending that when SHE starts with her "woe is me" stuff, you remind her that it's tough on everyone. You don't even have to do this every time, but an occasional "truth dart" is generally a good idea.
There's no reason why you should sit there and listen to how choppy the waters are for her, when she's the one that headed out of her safe port onto the rough open seas of her own choosing.
