Come to present day: - H admitted to helping OW break up her marriage. - We're still intimate. - I'm taking positive approach to life / H. - H's talking to me more (life not D/relationship) - H's still talking, texting, visiting OW - OW has drama again and H came to her rescue. - H still wants D; not kids w/me
If H helped break up OW's marriage then he is a real POS in my opinion. I have zero sympathy for homewreckers.
You're still intimate- this is what is referred to around here as "cake eating" because he's having his cake (OW) and eating it too (you). That's clearly not helping your situation so you need to ask yourself if you want to continue that. If it's hurting you emotionally then you might consider discontinuing that.
If you've read DR then you know what to do- don't talk about the relationship at all unless he brings it up, don't put any pressure on him to make a decision, don't give him ultimatums, etc. Detach and give him room to think things through. If he says he wants to leave then tell him you support his decision if that's what he thinks will make him happy. It probably won't, but it'll take him a while to figure out that all his unhappiness is coming from within, not from you.
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H agreed to anniversary dinner. I asked for it since it may be our last.
Don't assume that. None of us can read the future. Whenever I think about how I'll never get to do this or that with W again, I stop and remind myself that the future is unknown. Many people have reconciled against impossible odds and have better marriages now than before, so anything is possible as long as you hold hope in your heart. Keeping this in mind helps you maintain a PMA (positive mental attitude) rather than being depressed about things. IE, if you go into this expecting that there may be many more such dinners, then you'll more likely happily enjoy this one than if you go in thinking it's your last. PMA is EXTREMELY important to drawing your H back.
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I know that he's in the midst of a MLC along with the EA of the OW.
He could be, sometimes it's hard to tell a WAS from MLC. It's best not to try and diagnose your spouse's problems, but rather, follow DB'ing and work on yourself.
