Well I seem to be good at sabatoging my own progress. The simple act of putting my arm around my W last night led to a major argument in which she revealed that 1) she does not love me, 2) does not have the emotions she needs to have sex with me, and 3) only has been having sex with me to get me off her back for a while. So, although I posted that I felt I was backing off, this was not so clear to my W. All irritating and not new information. But she further informed me that she never wanted to have my babies, just wanted to have babies, which was a low blow. And that she wished she hadn't spent her granny's inheritance (something that I had actually advised against) so that she could leave if she wanted to. We talked it out with our counselor this morning and smoothed some of it over, but I still feel that whatever progress was being made may have collapsed then and there. I don't feel like I am getting my emotional needs met in the relationship and have considered finding someone else to fulfill those needs. (And this is not about sex, but about affection and affirmation). My W doesn't seem to be able to do that as she doesn't want that from me. My counselor has suggested that she is still grieving the loss of her affair partner and only time can heal that wound. I however am finding myself tired of waiting. Her tactic of wait and see doesn't seem to have led her anywhere in the past 2 months that she says she's been trying. Some tactics to help me wait this out, and not fall into the arms of one of my nubile young co-workers, would be very nice.
