Yeah, I know you're not advocating being a d!ck about it, but I couldn't bring myself to say "No W, I can't help you with that" when she and I both knew I was home and could help.
Again, I can go back to the "It was a financial issue that would absolutely affect ME too if she didn't file her taxes" but that was only part of the reason.
Yeah, I know you're not advocating being a d!ck about it, but I couldn't bring myself to say "No W, I can't help you with that" when she and I both knew I was home and could help.
Said nicely:
"Wife, I know that tax stuff can be confusing, but since we're filing separately now, and all things considered it would probably be best that you figured out how to do it on your own."
I get it. She is filing late. Not early for next year.
Is that what is happening here ?
For the 2011 tax year you filled as married. Where you filed and she did not. So she has to file as married for 2011. There was confusion on her end on what choices to pick in turbo tax on her fed return.
Is that what you were writing out?
Next year I would recommend that you file as single or that married but filling separately . If your not piecing back together.
The first year with ladybug. She asked to file as married. I replied that she was not living with me on Dec 31st so were separate. We exchanged what tax info we both needed and that was that.
I do not play games when it comes to finances. Nor do I want to be played.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Yes, W and I BOTH had to file for extensions this year. My accountant was late getting my K1 for my business put together and W always had someone else do her taxes, so at that time, we decided we'd just file for extension for each of us, as we'd be filing jointly.
Clearly, that changed once she moved out. I no longer wanted to file jointly, especially as I was due a large refund while she would owe a bit (due to her independent contracting work).
Next year, unless we're piecing, I'll be filing as either single or married but filing separately, as will she.
I also do not play games when it comes to finances, as that is yet another of my 180s... showing more fiscal control. I never spend $ on myself, but I also was never able to tell W "No, we can't afford X AND Y AND Z..." as I didn't want to disappoint her... so I'd allow her X and Y and Z and figure out a way to make it work.
No longer.
Anyway, I don't want the complications that could come with my W being pursued by the IRS for unpaid taxes... As she is still all but unemployed (Still only doing contract work for my company) they would quickly come after the spouse for the unfiled taxes. Not a headache worth having... That being said, she has an amount of unpaid taxes, but I told her that she needed to work that out with the IRS via a repayment schedule. She agreed to that and never asked for a dime from me.
Starsky, I wish I would have read your BGP post BEFORE the interactions with my W last night.
But I'm pretty sure that even me saying it nicely would come across as d!ckish... Perhaps with a bit more detachment, I won't be so worried about that kind of stuff.
I'm going to try to take this and use it as a lesson for the future... Try not to linger too long on what I SHOULD have done and be very sure to think more critically if W ever reaches out for help again.
It's going to be hard not to help, but perhaps I need to remember that by NOT helping her, I'm helping myself AND my sitch...
Actually AT I think you should look at the positives here.
The taxes were filled within 4 hours. As this was for 2011. You got it done.
But your post was super confusing. If you had written. Had some communication with wife over tax extensions for 2011 and our agreed joint filing. I decided to help her with the filling before the deadline which took 4 hours and a few texts answering questions but got it done.
Then your post would have came across as leading, getting financial items wrapped up and full speed ahead for the week.
But then again it was a good snapshot of you struggling with communications to us here and with with Mrs. AT.
Now I am going to recommend that the next correspondence with her over something that is not financial or affects you in any way should be put into the 24 hour bucket with a simple reply of validation.
The reason. So you can get back to your frame of mind again. As it is a healthy place for you to be.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
Thanks Chatter. I've definitely struggled a bit with the communications these last few days, and I appreciate the pointers to help move me in the right direction.
I actually got an email from W about an hour ago, saying that her tax return was rejected due to either an improper PIN for e-filing or an improper AGI.
I'll respond "AGI I sent last night was directly off your 2010 filed return. I will scan and send to you tonight for your records."
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
