I thought it was your W's rant, bc it follows her tone of feeling hopeless and trapped. I would say, take your time to reply, but why not just talk about this? It seems it's a matter of her schedule being frantic, and she's asking for collaboration. I would be flexible and exchange weekends of whatever (if it doesn't inconvenience you.) The kids come first, right?
I would ignore the hate rant. She's looking for attention and comfort, but she's decided to let go of you as a H, so the comfort goes away too. Basically, let her see the consequences of her actions.
The family berating her is NOT good. Maybe you guys should keep your stuff private. Well-intentioned family members just make things worse. In my case, people who knew my H and I, and even the MC "sided" with me (my H's term.) That made him distance himself from me (and from them) even more, and have the perception that the M was over.
Might not have a chance to check in till tomorrow, so I hope the rest of your day goes well...
