Accepting reality, moving on with my life

[breakdownbill]

I haven't updated this thread for nearly a week & I will have to start a new one pretty soon.

Over the weekend my W and I had another talk as there was an atmosphere in the house and we weren't really talking about anything since the weekend before.

We cleared the air over a few things and were just honest with each other about a lot of stuff.

We talked about Christmas, money, the children and living arrangements & it was really ammicable and nice, we were listening to each other and we are actually on the same page with this.

My W is happy with what I'm proposing in terms of living arrangements with the children & buying me out of the house so I can put a deposit down on a new place next year. I've agreed to show my W all of the paperwork prior to submitting anything so everything is transparent and matches up with what we have verbally agreed and in return my W has stated that she will not get legal representation as we are being so open about this and we agree on the terms anyway.

I have decided to move out of the family home probably next week when the children are off school for half term, this is so that they can have plenty of time to ask questions and react to the news in their own way without having to go back into school the next day (and there is a gap before christmas then as well).

I'm going to move back in with my parents whilst I'm still at UNI doing my teacher training and the children will be staying with me 3 nights a week at my parents place (we've even agreed on a rota - which we can be flexible on).

I know things can change and all the legal advice says to stay in the home, but it's not benefitting anyone by me staying there.

I will still see my kids a significant ammount of time every week & there will be no case for abandonment. When it comes to the kids I really do trust my wife because she wants what is best for them just like me.

We've agreed to split the kids christmas gifts 50 / 50 I've bought my son's presents & my wife will buy my daughter's presents - they will be off santa (both of us).

Before anyone bashes me for not listening to legal advice, I have looked into it & this is a risk I'm willing to take, because I honestly believe that my W will do what's right by the kids. Despite everything that has happened, we've always been tight when it comes to the kids.

We both couldn't take much more of the situation at home & we really do need our own space now.

I'm happy that we can be really ammicable about all of this & being friends is what is best for the kids right now.

I think I've really come to terms with my feelings about all of this over the last few days. I don't want to fight with my W anymore and I don't want her to feel guilty about what is happening. The way I see it now is that we both could have handled this differently and I am just accepting of what is & see no reason or benefit for holding any grudges.

I'm at peace with it now & feel like I can be that strong person that my kids can lean on to get get through this.


Bill