Was this them the whole time ??? My 2nd thread

[SunnyBurst]

Sunny, again, the best thing to do is leave her alone and only have contact w/her regarding finances and your son. If it's not an emergency, don't contact her. If she contacts you, let the phone ring once in awhile and call her back later. She needs to "experience" the consequences of her actions. You do not want to be readily available to her all of the time. Keep the focus on you and your son.

Thanks Snodderly - the thing is we still live together -- so it's not that easy

Also I am a little peaved about the wedding sitch - I purchased a ticket and rent a car - and now what the hell am I gonna do --- I think I should just text her that I will be coming to the wedding - because she shouldn't be using this against me cuz she is mad about something else.

[job]

Yes, it's difficult when they live in the house, but you'll need to view her as a roommate for now.

I would go to the wedding. She can't control the world. Is there a reason that you need to text her about your attendance? If not, I would inform the bride/groom of your attendance and just show up.

[SunnyBurst]

Yes, it's difficult when they live in the house, but you'll need to view her as a roommate for now.

I would go to the wedding. She can't control the world. Is there a reason that you need to text her about your attendance? If not, I would inform the bride/groom of your attendance and just show up.

She told me if I show up she would have Rex and here dad take me out of the church.

[SunnyBurst]

BTW I am only going to the ceremony not the reception

[job]

I would send a text or place a call to Rex or her dad and ask if there would be a problem with you attending the church service. You could always slip in and sit in the back of the church...she would never know unless she can turn her neck completely around and see over the heads of others.

[ericmsant2]

Sunny

I am very sad family is leaving for Florida for 2 weeks and I am gonna miss my sons 1st bridal party

Who said you are going to miss it? Ummm…you did oh no wait, it was HER that TOLD YOU not to go. Ummm…if it were me, I would take snodderly’s advice and contact the groom and bride and let them know that you plan to attend. Hell while you are done in Florida I would go have some fun. South Beach can be a very nice place to relax…ahh…the thought of Ocean Drive just makes me smile.

I don't know how if you saw how stupid I have been

I would not say stupid. I think Normal is a much more accurate statement. Dude, cut yourself some slack. You are dealing with a tremendous amount of pressure and FTR, I think you are doing okay.

I am sorry to hear about your friend. Pray for him and his family. Learn from his error and promise YOURSELF to live YOUR life to the fullest…if for nothing else but for YOU, YOUR SON and HIM.

I think I lost my marriage for good cuz of my control issues -- I hope I can learn to finally get out of my own way.

Thinking like this is only going to keep you down. Change your thoughts dude. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. In terms of getting out of your own way….this is why everyone tells you to detach and LIMIT your conversation with her. Right now, chances are your emotions are all over the place. It will get better Sunny…it will.

Thanks Snodderly - the thing is we still live together -- so it's not that easy

I did it for almost 2 years buddy..so trust me I get it. Nothing though that is EASY is worth having. This is a gift dude that you have right now and yeah it sure as chit does not feel like it…but it is a gift that you have. You can turn YOU around my friend…you can and YOU WILL…piece by piece.

Go to the ceremony, enjoy it watching your son. Ignore her butt and if you can…take a nice walk on Ocean drive and then sit on the beach and realize that you buddy are awesome. Why? Cause you just are.

Chin up dude.

[SunnyBurst]

Sunny

I am very sad family is leaving for Florida for 2 weeks and I am gonna miss my sons 1st bridal party

Who said you are going to miss it? Ummm…you did oh no wait, it was HER that TOLD YOU not to go. Ummm…if it were me, I would take snodderly’s advice and contact the groom and bride and let them know that you plan to attend. Hell while you are done in Florida I would go have some fun. South Beach can be a very nice place to relax…ahh…the thought of Ocean Drive just makes me smile.

I don't know how if you saw how stupid I have been

I would not say stupid. I think Normal is a much more accurate statement. Dude, cut yourself some slack. You are dealing with a tremendous amount of pressure and FTR, I think you are doing okay.

I am sorry to hear about your friend. Pray for him and his family. Learn from his error and promise YOURSELF to live YOUR life to the fullest…if for nothing else but for YOU, YOUR SON and HIM.

I think I lost my marriage for good cuz of my control issues -- I hope I can learn to finally get out of my own way.

Thinking like this is only going to keep you down. Change your thoughts dude. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. In terms of getting out of your own way….this is why everyone tells you to detach and LIMIT your conversation with her. Right now, chances are your emotions are all over the place. It will get better Sunny…it will.

Thanks Snodderly - the thing is we still live together -- so it's not that easy

I did it for almost 2 years buddy..so trust me I get it. Nothing though that is EASY is worth having. This is a gift dude that you have right now and yeah it sure as chit does not feel like it…but it is a gift that you have. You can turn YOU around my friend…you can and YOU WILL…piece by piece.

Go to the ceremony, enjoy it watching your son. Ignore her butt and if you can…take a nice walk on Ocean drive and then sit on the beach and realize that you buddy are awesome. Why? Cause you just are.

Chin up dude.

I will go to the beach IO promise LOL

Well the bride is her sister sooooo the odds might be stacked against me - I am only going to the church - not the reception - I mean it's a public church - I love my sis in law so I don't want to cause any undue stress on her wedding day - I am gonna call her tomorrow and tell her that you said I could go I purchased a ticket and a rent a car and I want to come to the church -- pray.

Sunny

[ericmsant2]

Well the bride is her sister sooooo the odds might be stacked against me

Great is He that is within me that he that is in the world.

Faith buddy...have some faith...and if you do not make it to the church...I'd still go and have some fun.

Can you see if any of your friends can go with you?

[SunnyBurst]

Well the bride is her sister sooooo the odds might be stacked against me

Great is He that is within me that he that is in the world.

Faith buddy...have some faith...and if you do not make it to the church...I'd still go and have some fun.

Can you see if any of your friends can go with you?

My therapist uses that quote all the time !!

[SunnyBurst]

got cut off ---

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.