Isn't flirting again kind of fun?? I was out yesterday and I swear I had a sign on my back...every guy I met...from the hardware store to the pizza place... was so flirty with me and I enjoyed every minute of it...very good for my self esteem!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
It really does lift the spirits. It's certainly a 180 for my life to have men falling over themselves to flirt with me. A friend of mine swears that there has to be a scent or a sign or something.
Hi Wonder, Tracked you down and read your new thread. Ohhhh, the patience we must have!
Quote: Today, I found an interesting article from Psych. Today about how men deal with depression: Male depression isn't as obvious as the defenses men use to run from it. I call this "covert depression." It has three major symptoms. First, men attempt to escape pain by overusing alcohol or drugs, working excessively or seeking extramarital affairs. They go into isolation, withdrawing from loved ones. And they may lash out, becoming irritable or violent.
Wow, that really stood out to me, too. I would not be surprised if my H is depressed and just really trying to cover it up. He had been doing all three: overusing alchohol, overworking, and getting into an affair.
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Quote: It really does lift the spirits. It's certainly a 180 for my life to have men falling over themselves to flirt with me. A friend of mine swears that there has to be a scent or a sign or something.
I did get asked out for a date (a concert at the end of March). I haven't answered yet because I was so startled. Not expecting it. But nice to be asked.
Quote: A friend of mine swears that there has to be a scent or a sign or something.
It does seem that way, doesn't it??!
Azure ~ You go girl...even if you don't go on the date, at least it is good for your self-esteem!!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Quote: It has three major symptoms. First, men attempt to escape pain by overusing alcohol or drugs, working excessively or seeking extramarital affairs.
Does it comment on Women? My W is guilty of all 3 as well. Hell even my posts from today hold that up.
Bill.
"you are who you chose to be" - Iron Giant
Link To CURRENT Sitch
Hi Bill, this brief article was entirely about research on men and depression. It did say depressed women tend to feel disempowered and tend to appear more obviously depressed-- in contrast to men who tend to hide it more in these behaviors. But there is a lot of stuff out there on this topic. I would suggest to read all you can-- it will give you perspective.
My C was telling me not too long back that the vast majority of people he has treated in his career who were involved in As were suffering from depression when they had the A (which only eventually made the depression worse). That's what caused me to find this article. I have lately been going through a notebook I kept during my C sessions. Has been good for me to do this now that my emotions aren't out of control the way they were a lot of the time then.
Azure, thanks for finding me out here! And I'm with SS on the date thing. I've been asked out a fair amount (since I've been at this a while now).
Once even by a guy who followed me off a highway exit and pulled alongside me and asked if I was married and told me I was "beautiful"... he was actually very polite and nice, though it sounds scary when I describe it. It was more funny and SO unexpected.
I haven't taken anyone up on it yet either. Especially the two men who apparently "forgot" that they are, oh yeah, that's right, they are MARRIED! Why someone would think this is OK is beyond me. All right. That is my rant for the day.
Update Talked to my H yesterday. He asked me for my direct work line so he could program into his new cell (? thought he did this already). He lost the old cell a few weeks back.
We're still trying to work out a time to collect that paper for insurance. I had a busy week and so does he. So he asked about the next 2 days and Friday is out for me. He said he would call me today once he knows his schedule for the day.
Then, he gave me advice on buying a printer. This is something I had mentioned to him on a voice mail about two-three weeks ago and have not spoken of since.
Just out of the blue, he says, so you had a question on printers? And then proceeded to tell me all I wanted to know. Was very helpful.
I sent him a nice email saying thanks, with a bit of a sexy innuendo to it as well. Was feeling kind of unexpected myself.
well, you can tell I had a lot of caffeine this a.m. telling all my stories.
my H has been scarce as of late... and I have been listening to everyone who says patience. And listening to my gut that says:
1. dropping ropes completely is a dicey prospect for us. a little is good, a lot seems to be not so good. 2. if H says he is scared about what's happened before (previous R attempts), is it a good idea to gently point out the places where H is doing the same things that led to that place (withdrawing)? Or just try to respond differently? Or both? Or nothing?
Our mini-conversation yesterday was good. Has anyone else had experiences where your S seems to pull stuff you've asked for out of seemingly nowhere? Is this a good thing? Should I not even think twice about it?
Did get a call from H this afternoon... very pleasant, in a positive mood and suggested we get together this weekend instead of today. apologized for being busy in the a.m. and not calling sooner. no mention of my little email, but sounded v. good on the phone... upbeat, friendly, joking, considerate. this can't be bad.
Maybe gently point out one thing, or perhaps two, no more. He might appreciate a little help. Make it something fun and/or easy for him to do. Like he could think up a date. It might be time to try just the slightest bit of a push. My two cents, anyway. Remember, experiement and see what works, if it doesn't, back away quickly but calmly and smoothly.
I think those positive, upbeat conversations are a great sign!
Good luck, dear Wonder. And thank you for your big, juicy hug. It gave me courage for tonight!
I like that approach, Azure! Keep up the great work, Wonder...you are having sooo many positive conversations and interaction with H and you are handling them very well!
My H has done that...bring up soemthing I asked about a long time ago. Not sure why they do that...maybe they get distracted? At least I think that is the case for my H!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
I was out yesterday and I swear I had a sign on my back...every guy I met...from the hardware store to the pizza place... was so flirty with me and I enjoyed every minute of it...very good for my self esteem!!! 
Not sure why they do that...maybe they get distracted? At least I think that is the case for my H!