Dbing is a practice that you will learn to use in your daily life. Once you get the hang of it, you'll do just fine.
Oh, I hear you on the hate and anger. He's become the mlc monster at his finest and he'll be that way for quite some time. Get out of his way and allow him to fight w/himself in the ring. He's angry w/the world and he thinks you and the marriage are his problem. Don't add more fuel to his fire. He needs to burn himself out all by his lonesome.
If you are not sure you want to divorce your h right now, then don't. When in doubt, do nothing.
As for selling the home, I wouldn't do that until after the divorce has been settled. It could be one of the stipulations in your decree.
You've loved the man for a long time and you still want him because of that. Your feelings for him will not change for a long time and who knows, you may love him in a very different way, i.e., one of concern just as you would a friend. The future is too far down the road to even wonder if you ever could be friends. You will need to remain in the present and keep the focus on you and protecting your assets.
Sit quietly, the answers will come and then you will know what you need to do to keep off the mlc wheel.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
