rH, You are trying to analyze the behavior of someone who is in crisis. It's very difficult and nothing is as it appears.
Divorce is expensive and I seriously doubt that he will get it any cheaper than what he has been quoted. This is not like buying a car or an appliance. Legal work takes time and money on the lawyer's part as well as the judicial system. He may also be raising the issue of the cost in hopes that you will volunteer to help pay for it...dont!
As for the issue w/cuddling and ML, I still believe he wants his cake and eat it too. There are any number of reasons why he still wants to do the "booty call", but I would stick to my boundaries on this one as you don't know where he's been and w/whom. Also, he may be testing you to see if you will give in and ML w/him. In his mind, he doesn't think you will be strong enough to stick to your boundary on this. Many of them are very confused as to what they want and will bounce back and forth from you to the op and back. Some even do a comparison between us and the op.
The value of the Camry sounds about right. They tend to have a higher resale value and don't depreciate quite as rapidly as others. I would be looking into the blue book value of the Mercedes and see what you discover. I would think the Mercedes would have a nice little value as well. Don't believe everything he's telling you. Do some research for yourself or you may be short changed in the end.
For someone who has been concerned about money and grocery money, he's still moving forward on this two week vacation. I'm sure he's not going to worry about money or expenses while he's gone.
Not all people hate each other when they divorce. Some divorce for different reasons other than utter hatred of each other. I'm sure that if you started questioning him and standing more firmly w/respect to your boundaries and requested additional funding for support, etc., your h would begin to turn into the mlc Mr. Ugly. Right now, you are going along w/him on smooth waters. If the water get ripples and you do not agree w/him on what he's proposing, you will see a dfferent side of him.
He may be doing things around the home and being nice to your son out of guilt or because he's getting ready to go on vacation. The good deeds will most likely dwindle as he moves through his crisis. Some of them are very nice just prior to doing something nasty to us, i.e., like filing for divorce, closing out accounts or removing our names off of car insurance, credit cards, etc. Time will tell on this one.
He may be a closet drinker right now in his self medication. He doesn't want you to see him this way right now and worry. But alcohol is one of the self-medications that they can use. Also, he doesn't want "mom" to worry and try to talk to him about it. It's a secret that he wants to keep from you, just as he would have from his own mother when he was a teenager.
As for the holidays, make your plans w/your children. You can offer up a invitation, but don't push it. Let him decide if he wants to come over or not.
You are now beginning to see the teenager in him, i.e., with respect to the Halloween items he has purchased for the party.
Again, do not believe everything he is telling you about your assets, cars, etc. Do some research because for your sake. You do not want to end up with very little when you are entitled to half of everything. I would check the blue book for the value on ALL of the vehicles and put that information aside as a bargaining chip. Knowledge is power and the more knowledge you have about your situation and finances, the better. Don't allow this man to feed you a line of BS.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
