Am I kidding myself.

[Hopefull2]

Thanks RH, i will be the first to admit i have no idea what i am doing. Just trying to apply the principles put forth here and adapting to my sitch (and like you am so thankfull for this community)

Journaling;
I texted W early in the day and let her know i would be by her place at 4pm to fix something at her place and let her know i had reservations at 5:45. This alone is a change for me, actually planning in advance, sorry to say. I finished the repair and we sat on her couch and chatted for awhile. She seemed tired and was not dressed to go out, so I asked if she was up to going out. She quickly responded that she was and she would go get ready. Throughout the evening i kept telling myself
to not pressure and to have no expectations. Again, her "desire" is to be friends. That is my first goal is to help her to feel comfortable as friends and evaluate from there. Dinner went very well, no R talks no pressure, just small talk and catching up. It was interesting that they sat us at a fairly large horshoe table and she did seem to sit about as far to the corner away from me as she could (just working on good observation skills). She looked so good and seemed to be enjoying the evening. I know from previous conversation that there are times she has fealt lonely and i want to be there to help fill that void before she looks elsewhere. I drove her back to her place and in saying goodbye was able to hug her several times, not too affectionately but more caring. She texted me later and thanked me for the evening and to wish me a good trip.

So all went well for the evening and i feel very good and encouraged. I have to keep reminding myself to be patient and understand that this is going to be a long process and to take baby steps.

We texted several times after this and then today i believe i blew it. She very rarely texts while at work so if i do text i know that i shouldn't "expect" a reply. I texted about forgeting my leftovers in the microwave and added " PS, just got to say you looked very hot last night". Now i justified sending this in that i need to learn to be more complementing but immediately regretted it in that it was not in line with my goal to help her feel comfortable "as friends" and add no pressure. No response. Learn and move on....