I think the real measurement is if he continues to respond the same way to the same behaviors you exhibit. There's nothing wrong with you distancing yourself as much as you can, just to regroup and "catch your breath." It will also let you put down your weapons, so to speak.
The best book I've read on the topic of narcissism (which is NOT to say I've read a lot) is "Help, I'm in love with a narcissist." What I liked most about it was that it really addressed the habits of the partner of the narcissist (in this case, you.) It focused a lot on setting healthy boundaries and changing habits, and helping you to recognize that you can't do anything to change THEM. It mirrored a lot of DB in that regard. But I felt that I could have replaced the word "narcissist" in the title with any other description (jerk, addict, slob, etc.) and still applied the principles they were promoting. It was just very uplifting, I felt.
