We've known eachother since we were very young too.
I feel like he slammed the book shut on us too, but at the same time likes to open it up from time to time.
As you work through the grief and continue to heal, you will start to come through a place where you start to actually feel forgiveness and have warm feelings again.
But getting through the anger part is the only way to get to the forgiveness part.
Just remember one day at a time.
Work on accepting where you are right here and now in your situation with him.
Things can evolve. Pray for yourself, your children and for your H. Even pray for the OW.
"Holy Sprit, Guide Me" seems to really be working some awesome things for me lately so I strongly encourage you to say that anytime you feel the need for strength in anything you do.
Be quiet, and listen. Trust your gut. That gut instinct and sudden knowledge is always spot on.
And remember we're all going to get old someday so in 40 years from now, this won't even matter anymore. I've always told myself that if I see my XH again when Im 80, I may or MAY not hit him with my cane. I haven't decided yet. I'll figure it out in 40 years.
