best and worse thing to ever go through

[eyesopen]

Was feeling pretty empty inside most of the day. Then had good conversation with w about Retrouvaille. I think I appealed to her heart. Stated that it would mean a lot to me and there are no expectations for it. Just that it may be our last weekend together, and it would be nice to say that we spent it exploring the possibility of saving our m and family. She stated that she doesn't want to lead me on or give me hope. That is when I told her that I had no expectations and that it isn't what she does or doesn't do that gives me hope. To have hope is a choice that I make.