Hey Busting? How you holding up? It's funny how everything takes on different proportion now that they've left.
A few days ago, it was the first rain of the rainy season around here. My thoughts were instantly taken back to a moment I hadn't though about in years. !0 years ago, the year I met my W, we'd been together for 7 months by this time of year and we'd never seen a day of rain together. On the first day of the rainy season, we were so happy we went out in the back yard and danced naked in the rain, in the middle of the night.
I'm in tears thinking about it now. The thing is, that moment is still there, in my life. No one can take it away. No one can alter it. And no one can make me forget it. It's become a part of who I am, and perhaps part of the reason I'm doing what I'm doing now.
I'm using that moment, and the many other moments like this one to give me strength and resolve through this.
By the way, that moment 10 years ago happened almost exactly 3 years after my first divorce, during which I was convinced I would never feel happiness again.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Just dropped by to see how things are going in your sitch. I'm sorry things are difficult. It sounds as if you know what to do and you have tons of support on the forum.
I'm sending you lots of hugs: (((((((((Busting)))))))))
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
Hi Arsene thank you for sharing that beautiful story. lots of hug to you (((( ))))
Wendylon---thank you for coming by. I really appreciate the support and of course all of the hugs :-) sending some right back to you.
journal...
today is Hs 40 th bday. was a bit blue today just reminded of all the other birthdays we spent together (since he was 17), and reminded of how things are so different now (he is celebrating in Dubai with OW).
but...i got through it...much better than i thought i would. it was hard for awhile, but here i am, and the end of the night and i am ok. its reality. he is with her. his focus is on her. so i need to focus on me (ok it doesn't sound like it right now because i was focused on him today...what i mean is that i m trying to accept the reality of my sitch).
who knew a year ago ( i remember it well his birthday) that we would be here today. I mean last year i threw a big party for him but he was spewing at me all of the time....you know....when answers become grunts and bits of spittle instead of actual words....
this year he is not here, he is with her. However, the grunts have turned into words, he is engaged again with his kids and there is less spittle on my face from his spew. But thats all about him and his journey.
My journey. I Will continue to work on me. to detach and to grow. D or no D my path is the same. My happiness lies in me and my children right now. i am learning to accept myself and forgive myself ...maybe i will be able to love myself one day too. I want to be the besting busting i can be.
i love you all so much...i do not have enough words to express what you mean to me, how you have helped me and how grateful i am. thank you all.
have a good night. (((( ))))
will start a new thread....
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
