Still nothing from H. And I can't see my post anymore. I hope they're not lost. I'm really grateful for all your advices and help. In case my other reply posts were lost. If anything I said was not appropriate here, I hope someone would let me know
Yesterday and today are harder somehow. I had dreams of H these past two nights, and I felt warm and happy in my dream...but well, the mornings.......
I'm going to really think about how I'm going to interact with H now. But I have 0 contact with H now, I'm not sure if these 180s would work at all. But I think if I write them down, I'd have a better idea.
The past one year, I was actually detached from H. I stopped complimenting him and blamed him and didn't listen to him, and I kept saying how other guys were good at certain things etc. I felt lost and I forgot how great we were, until one month before he dropped the bomb. I really started to look at our relationship and realized how we went down, but before I could get myself back up, he gave up.....but I still have hope for us, that's why I'm here. ha.
So...I'm going to compliment him again (I always thought he's cute and nice!!), because he really deserves my compliments, and I will really listen to him, not trashing his ideas, and of course, I will not bring up how other guys are doing whatever. Also, I'm not going to blame him for small things. So many times, I got mad at him for no good reason, most of the times it was just me feeling bad myself, then I just ranted on him. Im not going to be like that again. And I really need to shut up more, I talked too much, that I really didn't listen or think too well. And other things, I guess I'll make a list and write down on a piece of paper to remind myself everyday.
I feel a little silly to do this at this point, I don't even know when and how my H will contact me again. He might just give me really bad news.....I don't know if my 180s would work or help at all at this point....but I do feel better once I start to clear my thoughts.
Any thoughts? Sorry for my inconsistent posts for now, I'm on the moderate mode
I hope everyone is feeling better and better each day I'm trying!
