Thanks so much guys. This is EXACTLY what I needed today: to be able to apply some of my lessons to a real life situation and feel confident moving forward.
Some stress free contact with W, honoring my word and proving that i CAN do this.
And yet another update... with yet another text from W asking for some help putting her taxes together.
Well not ACTUALLY help, just wants me to send her some info from her 2010 tax return that she thinks she left behind.
Her text:
"No problem. Thanks. Also, if you get a minute, could you send me my pin from last year for turbo tax so that i can file electronically? The net income thing that they ask for. I think its in XXXXXXXXX... I had no idea they were do today, so I'm trying to get that in..."
I don't think I need help with this one, as I'll be responding:
"I'll try to dig up that info when I get home tonight W and I'll let you know"
I know where not supposed to look for “signs” but I am sorry, it happens. Are you getting more contact from W then usual? Other than the obvious, do you think there’s something behind this? Come on now, a little birdy told me that you’re a great mind reader.
Rough: You're a terrible person for suggesting that I mind read here. A really awful person.
But I'm nothing if not a crowd-pleaser.
Honestly, I'm not putting any stock into today's conversations. They were pretty standard things that had to come up due to the timeline. She showed some frustration in later texts about not knowing what she was doing, but mostly they were emotionless texts asking for basic information with general platitudes sprinkled in occasionally.
I'd LIKE to think that they were an attempt to hear from me "by any means necessary" and she was simply dying to have contact with me. But I think necessity was the only reason she reached out. And I expect to hear nothing from her for quite some time now.
I'm curious if the whole "Sharper focus on her absence from my life" thing will kick in tomorrow after today's conversations.
Only time will tell. But for now, I'm gonna have a drink or two and watch the game. And since I have no rooting interest, I guess I'll go for the Broncos, assuming Denver is a fan!
I had an interesting night last night... Some good parts some not-as-good parts, but I think I handled myself well.
So after my last post, W continued to text me a few more times. Asking for different information and advice on how to file her tax returns. I gave her all the information she needed, and answered her questions about how to file, what program to use (Since she didn't have the $ to pay for Turbo Tax) etc.
After she didn't respond for about 30 minutes, I decided to go ahead and "end" the conversation by letting her know that I'd deposited the $ for the couch in her account and told her to take care of herself.
About an hour later, she texted me that she was lost on her tax thing, getting so frustrated, and just figured she can't do it.
This is where I MAY have made a mistake. A few minutes later, I texted her asking if there was something I could do to help her.
Honestly, I did this for two reasons... 1: Her NOT filing her tax returns would not be good for either of us, as we are filing as married with separate returns.
But I'd be lying if I said that was the only reason. I WANTED to help her...
She texted back letting me know she was just finishing dinner and would be happy to call me so I could help walk her through the process...
I didn't think that was a good idea, as I was still in a kinda vulnerable state mentally and wasn't really prepared to talk to her again.
So I asked her to just send me the login and password for the site she was using so I could give it a look.
She sent it over and I was able to fix her return in just a few minutes. About 30 minutes later, I texted her to let her know that I'd fixed it and all she needed to do was log in, e-sign and submit it along with a check for the amount she owes (which I know she doesn't have, but I didn't offer to help financially...nor did she ask).
She texted back thanking me purfusly, saying that she'd spent over 4 hours wrestling with it and just felt like she was going crazy. She told me that she hopes I have a good night.
I responded to that (probably another mistake) "I'm always glad to help W, and you're welcome"
Overall, I felt good about the way the night went. I avoided talking to her over the phone, as I didn't feel mentally prepared. I was able to help solve her tax issues, which I realize probably wasn't the best DB thing to do, but it affects me too, and I really wanted to...
I read through another post last night in which Starsky was suggesting that it's time for a certain WAW to put on her BGPs and deal with stuff on her own... And I realize I missed a big opportunity to do just that.
But the last thing I wanted was to come off as a d!ck refusing to help when she specifically asked for it.
I read through another post last night in which Starsky was suggesting that it's time for a certain WAW to put on her BGPs and deal with stuff on her own... And I realize I missed a big opportunity to do just that.
But the last thing I wanted was to come off as a d!ck refusing to help when she specifically asked for it.
Yep, you sure did. And nowhere do I ever suggest to be a dikk about it.
