Even though my H is physically home, it's almost as if he's not there. I think at the moment me and you are in a very similar place.
You know that the big D is the last thing you want, but ya just don't know if you want H. God this sucks! It's our insecurities coming back up to the surface. Every thing is a sign of whether they will love us for ever, or leave us again.
I'm absolutly terrified that H will leave me again, and i think that is why i'm having such a hard time with all this at the moment. Just wonder if i'm ready to go back into that world. I know that i will be ok no matter what happens. I trust myself. I know that i want the romance and the pursuing, infact i want H to prove to me that he is worthy of me, i just want us to have the close, trustful and happy relationship we had before depression entered our lives.
Before i always reminded you to be patient, now i'm going to tell you to be patient with yourself. I would back off and try to get those expectations back down so that your PMA can go back up. Only instead of NO EXPECTATIONS, lets run with LOW EXPECTATIONS and only of things that we know they are prepared to do!!
This is a very uncertain time for us all. I think we all want to run and hide in our respective caves, so why not sorta do that for a couple of days.....see what happens!
Now for some fun news! Where i'm staying will be absolutly full with young hansome and strapping men next week end, for a big rugby regata.......all because i'm on a diet doesn't mean i can't look at the menu!! Love a bit of eye candy!
Things are mostly alright for me....just having a bit of a down day....sorry about that!
You take care of you and let H take careof himself.
