Separated and confused

[gunny]

Hi jen, sorry you are going through this. How long have you two been married? How old are you both? How long have you known each other? Why did you have one foot out the door two months before he decided to leave? Knowing this info would be helpful to those of us on the board who have gone through this before, it actually is all very pertinent.

The letter thing. I sent my ex a letter, and looking back, it was very detrimental to my sitch. I believe sending it was the straw that broke the camels back, because up until I did so, we were making very, very slow progress. The letter pushed her over the edge and caused her to move away, because she said that I obviously was not listening to what she was saying, and that I was still trying to control the sitch.

I would suggest that you find a good therapist and talk to him/her about your sitch. Also finding a good divorce support group was very helpful in that I was able to meet people who were in the same situation and I remain friends with some of them today 1 year later.

I am sure he already knows how you feel, that you dont want the d, you have told him on a number of ocassions, so stop reminding him. Work on you, be pleasant to him if you do interact, and always ask yourself when communicating if what you are doing/saying is furthering you along to realizing your goal, which is no d. If it is not, stop doing it, or dont do it.

Just my two cents, I wish you good luck!
Gunny