Update: I mentioned to H this week on unrelated cell message that I wanted to wish him a happy birthday in case I did not see him on the actual day. He called to say that he had no birthday plans so we decided we would do something together. He appeared pleased that I remembered. I will leave it up to him to decide how he'd like to spend the time-- it is, after all, his birthday.
3lw, Oh, I know what you mean about forcing the R talk. I did that in that past too-- aggressively. My therapist advised me not to do this, but I did because I wanted answers... and ended up where you said! Putting that firmly in the camp of what does not work.
