Wonder - you have gotten some great advice here! I am in a similar situation. H is currently in the cave, so to speak, mourning OW. He did recently comment about noticing the changes in me, as your H surely will, and that made me feel great.
My therapist is of the opinion I should force R talk - nope, not gonna do it. In fact, when H came back I told him I totally understood there was a greiving process that needed to happen before we could work on our R. He seemed surprised that I said that. When he came back previously I did force the R talk and made a lot of demands of him. Where did that get me? ALONE again!
Whoever posted about the depression is absolutely right on. H has related to me that he is for once "feeling" instead of masking his depression by having OW around. Anyway, I am right here with you in the "slow" boat. Keep up the good work! P
