When I first started reading DB a couple years ago I thought the entire process sounded like "game playing" and it frustrated me to think that these things were necessary to keep a relationship together. But sure.. You could call it a game, but really it's a fight to save your marriage. They're all moves for that end goal.
I personally wouldn't call back unless a message was left, but that's just me. I think it could create a little more mystery and wondering from her.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
Wouldn't you know it, w tried to back out of Retrouvaille today. She doesn't want to give up the hours at work. I wanted to say I would cover the financial loss, but I didn't. I expressed how important it was to me and that if there were people worse off than us that got through it, then it couldn't hurt. She expressed her hopelessness and again asked if I had filled out the paperwork online. She is sending me the link, I can't stall this any longer. I will continue to work on myself, while going down the d road. I want to yell and scream at her, tell her she is a terrible person for doing this. I know she isn't and this feeling will pass. Just struggling today.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
That's a good thing to remember, "this feeling will pass."
I remind myself of that every day.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
What I'd like to say is for any of the LBH's that may read this, not just to "Eyesopen". Over the years, I've seen advice given to LBH's that is suppose to be used as validation, but it just doesn't have the right ring in the ears of a WAW, IMHO. I've seen the same quotation passed down from poster to poster as an example to use.......and perhaps it works at times, but I think H's need to be very cautious of saying "I understand this must be very difficult for you". Don't just throw it in there when you don't know anything else to say, and don't say it when it's totally not the right time or situation. IOW, if she's stressing over taking some test or awaiting for test results....then it would be okay to use that quotation. But to say it when she's talking about filing for a LS or D......it just seems to misfit.
Look how Eyesopen's W responded.
Quote:
M: I understand this must be very difficult for you.
W: Are you being facetious. It is horrible.
Giving this statement could be taken as being very patronizing. Also, if this sounds like you are quoting something out of a book.....something not used from your everyday vocabulary.....may have a false sound to it.
Not quite sure. I think a couple of months since children are involved. A judge will have to review it. Sandi, do you think Retrouvaille is a good idea right now?
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
After just attending Retrouvaille, I would tell her that you will fill out the papers if she attends the weekend. A fair trade and one that she has already offered. Good luck and hang in there.
I will fill out the paperwork if you commit to the weekend at Retrouvaille. It can't hurt anything and I don't expect you to want to move back in afterwards. But if it can start bringing us closer together than what do we have to lose. It may be the last weekend that we spend together, so why not be able to say that we spent it trying to save our family.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
