Searching, trying - still going, but how?

[needgrace]

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dear sweet lady,

i am so so sorry that you are hurting so much right now and i am glad that you are sharing it here, with us.

i so admire you kg... your strength... i do not know how i would have handled what you have been through these past two years.

i truly believe that what takes us away from our true selves is fear and hurt.. and that in piling on more expectations, we create more fear...that doubt that we have what it takes or are capable of being who we want to be.

and as high achievers, which i get the impression you are, we expect so much from ourselves.. and are constantly fighting to get there.. makes us good in business or as a mom but not so good to ourselves sometimes...

what i am trying to do... a work in progress ... is to accept where I am at without condemnation... and sometimes just in the acceptance is a bit of freedom, a small space away from the darkness.

and from a place of acceptance comes the courage to move forward again... to be nice enough to myself to care for myself even when i don't want to care.. and you have kept going, KG, through all of it, you have somehow found the courage and strength to keep moving..

i am sorry about your friend moving.. that is quite a loss, i am sure.. but don't forget that there are other people in LA who understand what you are feeling and would gain from knowing you...

we all struggle with being compassionate, patient, detached, forgiving.. that is the human condition.. i think that the path to more compassion is to be more compassionate to yourself, the path to being patient and forgiving is to give yourself those things first... and to realize that those things are just a defense against the fear and hurt that you feel right now.

i think a good question for all of us here is: what can I do today to take care of me?

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