Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

Thanks all of you for the support - you guys keep me going in the right direction!

So today I had another chance to look at his phone and I reviewed those texts again. Reading them calmly without the panic allowed me to have more of an objective opinion. I haven't had the chance to read them all, just the ones over the last few weeks and there haven't been that many. But I think I'm going to retract my OW declaration and go to POW for now.

Here's what's happened, as far as I can tell:
- Sometime in Aug, H tells POW "Missing you" and asks her to go to a concert @ Hollywood Bowl w him. Don't know if she goes or not (I have to re-review those), and I haven't looked back earlier than that.

- Early Sept, H tells POW he's filing for D. This is right after I moved back here. POW is appropriately sympathetic.

- Mid Sept - the weekend we went to Yosemite - H and POW get together. H tells her it's the best day he's had in a long time. (That explains why he didn't call us when we were in Y.)

- Sept 24 - the day we are driving back - he goes to L. L says "sit tight" because my working part time and spending more time w boys could affect his custody. H is annoyed because he has to pay $675 (ha ha) to hear "sit tight". H tells POW he is going to L and she asks if there is any chance of reconciliation. H says no.

- Sept 26 - H and I get in another blow out argument which involves a lot of crying and we end up ML at the end of it.

- Sept 27 - H sends me an email saying we should go to MC and whether it ends in D or R it will help us understand each other better.

- Next 2 weeks involve a few check in texts back and forth, POW gets sick, H offers to sneak out to help her. He tells her to take care of herself and says "You are amazing."

- Oct 11 (this week) - H asks POW if she is in town and says he wants to make another plan with her. Not sure how he plans to pull that off. Also tells her he wishes he could just move out and move on but L says sit tight so that is what he is doing.

A little more intel shows that POW is someone my H knew at college. I have never met her.

I've downgraded her to POW because I'm not convinced - clearly they are good friends, and I am fairly certain H wants to get with her. Honestly the tenor of their communications reminds me a lot of me and OM1. I'd call it EA on H's part...

Of course, these things are like cockroaches. You see one running around your kitchen, and there's 50 more crawling around under the sink. Meaning, who knows what I haven't seen yet? I know there were texts from someone else in SF - and he's going to SF on Weds...

Next post will give details on the campout and thoughts on what I should do next.