Still trying to have NO expectations, but I was definitely sad when the weekend came and went and we didn't see each other. B texted me on Friday asking if I wanted to go to a movie on Sat. night; I said "yes." Sat. came and it was 4:30 when he finally called and said an 'unexpected' military friend had come into town. B also hung out with a military friend on Friday night. So, he said they were going to hang out until 8 or so and would that be too late for a movie? I asked if B wanted to just hang out with his military friend. He said "yes" and thanked me for being understanding. He asked about today, but he knew I had church and then a hike already planned. So, that was that... AND, this was all after he had cancelled last Monday, Tuesday, and cut our Wed. dinner short.
So, today I called him en route to church and said I didn't feel 'wanted' this week and we had a real problem if an entire weekend could go by and we didn't spend any time together. I told him I could feel him pulling away from me this week. B said I was correct and he is struggling with figuring out how to let someone get close to him again. He thanked me for being honest and open and he needed to "sit" with what I had said for awhile.
Hmm...what to think? We ALL struggle with how to let someone get close to us after our hearts were ripped out and stomped on. I just can't figure out why I struggle with finding men who aren't so emotionally bankrupt? I'm concerned I'm calling in these particular men for a reason. Perhaps it's what I also need to heal inside of me.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
