Been served papers - first hearing two weeks away

[ericmsant2]

JHL

Well you need to figure out what YOU want to accomplish that YOU have control over.

I live to the standards of the Bible. God hates divorce. I have been told by my Christian friends to fight it out for the Lord.

I believe in God myself...is "fighting" what He told you or your buddies? Cause I always thought Faith in Him and Letting GO and giving it to HIm was the way to go.

Just sayin...

[Grateful]

He is there to fight the battles that you can't fight. He will fight spiritually, and he expects us to fight the battles that we can.

[ericmsant2]

JLH,

I agree you need to fight for your M...just make sure that you do not use a sledgehammer.

Peronally, I never had the right "tool for the job"...I thought using a sledgehammer was the way to go with everything. I learned it ain't.

Eric

[AnotherStander]

I don't know what to do actually. Yes, it is cheaper to go the uncontested route. However, I live to the standards of the Bible. God hates divorce. I have been told by my Christian friends to fight it out for the Lord.

I'm a Christian myself, but I have a different take on this than your friends:

First, it only takes one spouse to accomplish a divorce. So you cannot stop it, only delay it.

Second, if you delay it by fighting it tooth and nail, is that going to help or hurt your desired reconciliation? My guess is it would permanently harm your R with your wife.

Third, do you think a long, drawn out divorce battle will benefit your daughters? Let me say that when I was a young teen my parents went through a nasty D, and up until my own marital problems I always told people that was the worst experience I ever went through in my entire life.

Fourth, what will be the financial impact on you, your W and your D's of a long, drawn out battle? Only the lawyers benefit financially.

Personally my Christian values dictate that I fight as hard as I can for my marriage, but if my W insists on D then I can't stop her and I will make it as amicable as I possibly can for my children, for me and for my future chances of reconciliation with my W. Divorce does not close the door on reconciliation.

[Grateful]

The hearing for Tuesday has been settled out of court. W is even starting to agree with terms to ensure that this goes quickly.

[ericmsant2]

The hearing for Tuesday has been settled out of court. W is even starting to agree with terms to ensure that this goes quickly.

It aint over till it is over. THere are two types of divorce 1) legal and 2) emotional. The legal one YOU have minimal control over...the emotional one (and IMO, that is the one that matters) is the one you have ALL the control over.

Eric

[eyesopen]

I am not a person of strong faith, although I do believe there is something that connects us all. I will say amen to the two types of d. And about not drawing it out to ruin your chances down the road. The WAS needs to make there own mistakes to learn. Just like we have decided to learn from ours that got us here.

[Grateful]

I heard the I hope we can be friends comment today. I reacted poorly.

[Grateful]

I do have a question that I would like answered. I know that the book addresses this a little, but I need more specific. Why am I considered selfish by her for wanting to save the marriage?

[someguy1233]

I do have a question that I would like answered. I know that the book addresses this a little, but I need more specific. Why am I considered selfish by her for wanting to save the marriage?

I never thought much about it, but I guess I can see how the WAW could see the LBS as being selfish.
Since the LBS isn't going along with the plans for separation, they're making it more difficult for WAW. The WAW could interpret this as you being selfish and only caring about your feelings and desires.