I want to go camping.

[labug]

I won't contact him, he said he would do it and he will. It's me that has the problem, it's an opportunity for me to change.

Thanks for the encouragement and honesty.

[Tumbling]

Hey Labug,
Guess what?
My H hasn't contacted me today to do what I asked either.
I am blaming...the stars!
You are right to not contact him. I'm not asking either.
Altho a tiny part of me wants to run around with my panties in a bunch, most of me is remaining in MY zone.
It's NOT going to effect me.
He had his reasons and that's his business.
My business is staying at the picnic and you have helped me stay here more than once.
Thank you ((()))

[labug]

This has been a dynamic for our whole history together. In fact we used to joke that all his projects had 2 phases:
[ p l a n n i n g ][execution]

What's new is me not reminding him that he said he would do x, y, or z and "why aren't you doing it?".

Thanks, Tumbling.

[StubbornDyke]

Puppy-mind. Love it!

[2chiquitos]

**sigh** I am the exact same way! Total 180 for me. Good luck with the uncertainty. I struggle so much with it!

[ces67]

So the next question is what "treat" do you get for a better trained mind???? : )

[labug]

Darn, that planning phase illustration was supposed to be stretched out across the page.

It was funnier that way and made more sense.

[Cadet]

Not sure if you saw this but it was posted on the world wide social network by our host.

Due to rapidly changing weather patterns in Colorado there's a saying, "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." A similar phenomena is true for marriage. Research shows that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stay married report that their marriages are happy five years later. This is true even in
marriages where there are serious problems such as substance abuse, infidelity, verbal abuse, etc.. That's because people can change. If you wait out the storm, you can avoid the unintended problems brought about by divorce and keep your family together. Plus, believe it or not, you can become happier and more loving. Hang in there! -Michele Weiner-Davis

[labug]

I read this over in the MLC forum (posted by Albuquerque). It's something that her H said and I think it's a good reminder for all of us:

"You need to learn to be an individual first, and a partner second. I submit that you can't even be a good partner if you aren't a good individual. I wasn't. I lost sight of that during my vacation in crazy time. It has taken time and effort to feel comfortable with myself. I credit Albuquerque for my own ass kicking. She made it clear that she loved me and wanted to be with me, but could and would go on without me, and not blink twice at it. That was very attractive to me, in a weird kind of way. There is the old saying that "it's nice to be needed". I don't think that's true. It's nice to be wanted. By someone who doesn't need me. I hope that makes sense. "

[keep_going]

"She made it clear that she loved me and wanted to be with me, but could and would go on without me, and not blink twice at it."

To me this is the epitome of loving detachment and where I strive to be.

Thanks, bug.