First off, AnotherStander. You were spot on. You told me to not tell her about my changes and that she would notice. The same day this happend :
When picking up the kid she got some of my dinner I made earlier. Everything in my apartment is in order, I'm in shape and holding up good. Dinner was good too. And when she left, she patted me gently on the back and made a comment (like a joke in good mood) about how she'd been struggling with me for so long and NOW I get my [censored] together. I told her I didn't know quite what to say, but that I wasn't always good at keeping things in order.
BUT:
after I ignored her text(nothing important) and didn't contact her for a day this is what followed :
I picked the kid up at her place the next evening. I asked her how she was doing and how work was. She looked tired, unshowered and exhausted. Conversation was casual, and she gave me more of my stuff. She walked me to the car said goodbye and walked away. Today she picked him up, along with more of her stuff, said goodbye and walked away.
Now suddenly she is not staying longer than needed, and she feels more distant. I'm wondering if it's that classic rollercoaster ups and downs or because of my actions. One of the previous days she was here she made a comment on how we would, regardless, still be a family and even offered me to lay down with here and S. I sat next to them instead. Mixed signals for sure.
I'm having the kid in a couple of days again, and wondering if I should ask her to pick up all her stuff at my place and vica versa. It's depressing for me to exchange a bit of our stuff every time we see each other. Like a constant reminder of our current situation. Any take?
I'm tempted to ask her to join me for a small movie evening, without the kid. This was not part of my strategy, so I'm quite unsure. Any take?
My small updates seem to grow as I write
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
