Turtle,

I think something that has worked for me continuing to tell myself that ultimately I want my wife to be happy, and in order for that to happen she needs to make her own choices. Whether I agree with them or not. Right now my wife thinks that she can't "move forward" without getting a d. Enough time has passed that I do not get anxious at the thought of it. It may very well happen. Doesn't mean I am done.

I too recieved some affection I believe as way of making it easy on me, and you are right it does feel good. It may have delayed my detachment a little, but I am not positive. If it wasn't a hug I would have probably found hope in something else she did. I realize now that the hope comes from me not anyone else. It is really true what they say, "fake it til you make it." Yes it hurts parts of you that you didn't know could hurt, it will get easier.

Wishing you all the best


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
Sep 8/12
Starting to find myself 11/12 on