rH, Your h is cake eating and he's got the best of both worlds. I know you miss your h and are lonely, but 140+ text messages? You need to find a way to get off the wheel and start living your life. Right now, your focus needs to be on your r.e. test that is coming up and your sons. Your h ran away from home and the only way that he's going to miss you and your home is when you do not engage as frequently as you have been. It's okay to respond to one text every now and then, but to continue w/that many...how can he miss you? Just remember, if he is that lonely, he could come home and live, but he's not doing that and is still discussing divorce plans.
Just keep in mind that your h is the one that mentioned to you that you need to reduce the grocery expenses...if he accepts your offer for lunch, he's getting a nice home cooked meal that will not cost him one cent out of his pocket at that time. But, I'm sure he'll remind you again later on that you need to tighten the purse strings on groceries.
I understand why you are trying to remain friendly, but you've got to put some boundaries in place. Friends do not treat friends the way that our spouses have done and continue to do. They can't learn from the consequences of their actions if we continue to allow them the freedom of having a "home away from home".
I learned the hard way about such things. When my xh ran away, he still came to the home and took groceries that I had purchased, did his laundry and I continued to pay his bills untill a poster advised me to stop his cake eating. You know what? When I did, the nice Mr. Snodderly changed his tune and got angry. Yes, my xh did a lot of what yours is doing now and the discussion of divorce went on during that time as well. When boundaries are put in place, Mr. Nice Guy or Gal will turn ugly because they want their cat and eat it too. They then soon learn that we aren't as stupid as they think we are.
Just my two cents this morning. I hope that I didn't offend you...but you need to get off the wheel that mlc is turning.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
