First off thanks so much for the 2x4s. I am grateful that I have you 2 following my posts. Understand what I am about to type may come off as being an a-hole, but it is no way attacking anyone on here, its simply my extreme frustration coming out.
When I said yesterday that I needed to get out of the house. I meant it. If I would have stayed here a minute longer, I would have lost my damn mind and probably said something I would regret. Either I would have either blasted the W or I would have backslide! Either way, it had to be done.
Originally Posted By: Tumbling
Don't play games AML! How old are you? Are you being fake BECAUSE that will show in your vibe? This is not about showing her two can be out.
I in no way consciously intended on playing any type of game with my wife. I put on a nice shirt and jeans because I really have no "in between" clothes. I have always worried about clothes for the family and not myself. I either have the everyday lounge around clothes, or nice ones. According to the 37 rules, I should always look my best. Thats what I did. I am being fake because I really have nowhere to go alone. The only real friends I have are the friends that are here in my neighborhood. They are all married with families. So when I go out, its usually to a bar to have a couple of pints or sadly, just to drive around thinking. Deep down however, I guess there is always the thought of “Game Playing”. I simply wanted her to feel that I to had a life and wasn’t going to do the same things I had the last time she said she wanted a D and moved out last year. The chasing, begging, pleading, etc. Which I haven’t done this time.
Denver,
What do you mean by stopping the ”passive aggressive conversations“? Am I not supposed to talk with her about the day to days? I am confused. One minute, I am being told to continue conversations with W, the next Detach. Please elaborate on this! I am really confused. I know what unconditional love is. Do you think I would still be here through all her BS if it wasn’t unconditional? I think we all get pissed when our WAW is acting like a Jacka$$ in our eyes. Didn’t you?
Update:
So W was leaving for her Jewelry Party last night and we said our goodbyes. I had mentioned that I was probably going to take the kids to the movies and she kind of snarled because the cost of the movies. Kind of questioned me about it. (Money is very tight right now) . Anyway, I said I know money is tight but the kids deserve to get out of the house. D15 was going to be late because of a band competition about 3 hours away. I asked what time D was going to be home and she said around 2 am or so. I said OK, I would wait up for her and said something about latching the door when D got home (We have one of those security latches on the front door) I said since W said she would not be home, I was going to latch it. (Not real sure how it came up). She said, “I will be home before D15!” Confused I said’ you told me earlier that you would not be home tonight so I assumed that you would get back sometime tomorrow when we were all up.” She said that she had said something different. I said ok then, I will leave it unlatched. And she left. I chose not to take the kids to the movies and instead, rented movies for us to watch at the house. D4 and I both fell asleep watching movie, so about 1 am, I put her to bed and waited up for D15 to arrive. No surprise, W wasn’t home yet. I laid around waiting for D15 to arrive home. At about 4 am, wife came home. I was outside and I said hello, and asked if she had heard from D yet. (I didn’t say anything about the time) We both figured she would be home by now but since it was so far away, we figured it was ok. D15 was riding with our neighbor whose daughter is also in the band. We both walked inside and wife began to talk to me about winning a prize at the jewelry party. I acknowledged and listened, but didn’t say anything. I asked her to call D15 and see where she was, and if she was planning on waiting up for her. She said yes so I said ok, good night and went to bed.
So deep down, I am really starting to think there may be someone else in the picture. I can’t prove it of course and I know she is never going to tell me. I am having a hard time putting up with what I feel is total manipulation. I said it before, she seems to feel perfectly content of being in this house with a roommate. A roommate who pays the bills, buys the groceries, does most of the housework, entertains the kids, etc…. She is free to do what she wants, stay out as late as she wants, with minimal responsibilities.
How do I break this cake eating when I do everything for the kids, she is just able to reap the benefits. I cant stop buying groceries. I cant stop paying the bills. I cant stop cleaning the house. But then if I ask her to do something, Im the a$$hole! If I had hair, I would have long ago ripped it out.
Enough for now. Going to take the kids fishing. I have a lot more questions so I will try to journal throughout the day and post again tonight.
