I am very sorry for both of us. What you describe, the trying not to resent your spouse for killing your passion is what I am dealing with now. I know I was the one that "gave this power" to my H, the power of affecting me to this degree, he didn't do it on purpose, he loves me, but nonetheless, he did and I let him.
I am responsible for this too, but sometimes I thing I would have to be superhuman not to hurt so badly when I am rejected yet another time.
The once held believe that my High Libido was going to be such a great asset in a marriage is completely flatten with the truth of my situation. It is not an asset, it is a mayor cause of pain an humilliation for both of us.
I am taking care of myself much more now, concentrating on my job and hobbies. Since the pressure from sex has eased up since I am not interested either, I should be happier shouldn't I? I just feel empty and sad. How did I allow this to happen ? I just can't understand it.
When I was younger , I remember looking at so many passionless marriages around me, so many that were so obviously together for all the wrong reasons. They made me so sad, and I remember saying to myself that I was not going to ever be in a marriage like that... ha! look at me now! I am the best example of what I didn't want.
I will keep on working on my marriage, I just can't face the possibility of a divorce now. I just want to give this my best try, even if now I feel like I am failing .
