Thank you Wendylon and Afa for keeping up with my sitch.
I take your comments on board and you're right he knows I am still standing - if I wasn't, I'd be almost dark. So I won't be bringing our status up. I've realised too that leaning back is much better for me - removes all expectations and feelings of disappointment. I also get a good feeling when I get a text from him because he wants to not because I set it up - Brava - 180 bedding in.
I guess we might have a R talk if we move to actually seeing each other when he is back. For now I am grateful that we are communicating daily and that it has moved from 3 word texts! Thinking about it, I want him to bring it up NOT me. I will just be going w the flow, keeping my oars inside the boat.
Update I took my Self to bed at 2130hrs (still not 100% more like 85%) so text - night,night. Hope you're warm and dry x - Was reading a book when I get one from him an hr later - night, night. How are you feeling?x
So before I knew what I was doing I had text right back (I have to work on not responding to everything). - not great. Thanks for asking...I need your help with s'thing if you have any free time on w/e x
Now before I get shot down. I really want to download some music (new Pink album and some others), H was the tech/gadget guy and has rigged the music through an external hard-drive, some on the cloud stuff, a streamer etc and I haven't got a clue. I need help getting it from my laptop to where it needs to go so that I can stream it round the house.
H replied - Working tomorrow but day off Sunday. What's up?
- Its a silly thing really. I want to download Pink's new album and I don't know how. Wondered if you can talk me through the process :-P I can wait til you're back tho.
- I'm sure I can help x
- Thank you :-)
So I thought that went kind of well. I seem more detached because I wasn't bothered when I heard no more from him. I am not pursuing it. He said he will help tomorrow and I trust that he will and it doesn't really matter if he doesn't. I will just have to buy the CD instead.
Now going to visit other threads
I like my leaned backness
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
Hi, Tumbling, Just got done catching up on your entire thread and thought I'd comment.
I completely understand the ride from your perspective...although I've not been on it nearly as long. GOod to know it is "normal" for the WAS...although my H hasn't technically left yet. I need help/ advice from others who have already endured a separation.
I love that you are finding yourself on this journey..back to CG,etc. I wonder if I've lost myself...although when so much time passes are u really the same person you think you've lost?
I wonder too if my H misses the former FUN me (before kids)...I know I do sometimes too, but life changes, and so do we all. Acceptance of our "new" selves has to be okay too, as long as we HAL (have a life vs. Get a life).
Do you feel your H misses the "old" u?
Maybe texting feels more comfortable for him--his own space/ own time, vs. a conversation where anything may come up (uncomfortable).
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Tumbling, it seems your H is becoming more responsive and approachable (even if it's only by text.) I would count that as progress.
The biggest progress is your attitude. Detaching from outcome is one of the hardest things to do in life, but what most spiritual masters recommend to achieve enlightment.
Let us know if your H helped you out. Also, I would not have any R talks at this point, even if he brought it up. If he brings it up, you can listen and say you'll be thinking about what he said. That's what my coach would've said.
I seem more detached because I wasn't bothered when I heard no more from him. I am not pursuing it. He said he will help tomorrow and I trust that he will and it doesn't really matter if he doesn't. I will just have to buy the CD instead.
That sounds great. I'll be interested to hear what happens.
Originally Posted By: Tumbling
I like my leaned backness
Keep it up. Don't forget to wait a bit when he next texts and I still think your texts could be shorter while remaining friendly.
Good luck!
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
2 things, Tumbling, Take time in replying with the texts. You and I sound similar in the typical auto response. It was / is a 180 for me that yielded positive results, so hopefully you experience that similarly as well. Two, Good luck today! Keep us posted.
Hi Tumbling how are you feeling today? are you 100 percent yet?
You sound positive and that is great. Detaching is a process and it is not always as straight forward as we sometimes think. I know for me i think i have gotten to a certain place and then something drags me back...but not as far back as i was before and i certainly regain lost ground much quicker than i have in the past. keep going. the only way is forward.
(((( ))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Hello DB amigos (practicing for new Spanish class I start on wednesday)
Turtlegirl I will drop by your sitch tomorrow, I'm sorry I haven't time today. I'm not sure if H consciously misses the original CG Tumbling but that is who he fell in love with. And I didn't like who I became in my marriage so am refinding the less controlling side of me.
Tori, Wendylon, Afa, Bustingout Yes, he is more responsive. Infact I misquoted one of his text which was longer Night Night, Tumbling. Warm and dry - thank you. How are you feeling? (12words Wendylon!!!!!!)
My attitude has definitely changed I am so detached I seem to be floating in my leanbackedness He didn't engage re music downloading. I haven't prompted and its 2200hrs here. I'm not bothered - been busy with some spiritual learning instead. I am surprised by my non-reaction. I wonder if he thinks I'm going to freak out about it. I am NOT. I'm not even going to mention it. Applause - another 180 bedding in.
I am 95% well so I am going swimming at 0630hrs
Thank you so much for helping me stay off the ride (((())))
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
I'm proud of you, Tumbling. I think he probably forgot about the music download. Try to do it yourself, and next time you can text him to say how much you're enjoying your new music :-)
I've been listening to the new Pink songs, and as always, they're awesome. No wonder she's my favorite singer.
No Tori - that's passive aggressive! She's my favourite too.
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
