and I'm still a little confused about how adding a "Thanks W" violates that so greatly as to set off this firestorm
My point on the few extra words AND the exclamation point that you used was this... I think that you want to keep your W off balance with what is going on with you.
I looked at it like this, the more my W was wondering or worried about what I was thinking AND doing when we weren't hanging out a lot, the more her mind was on ME. The more her mind was on me, the less it would be on OM.
It gets them thinking about us. You don't want them to be thinking how you're a d!ck, but you also don't want them to think that you are completely like she expects you to be. Want them wondering.
When you are polite by responding, but short AND flat (no emotion or excitement) with your response, I think that what you are communicating is
"we are drifting farther and farther apart, I may be moving on, and you may be losing me. Think about that."
They expect us to be the same old guy that we always were, and/or they expect us to behave like Crazy is suggesting, pursuit and appeasement. But Crazy IS admittedly a WAW. She has a good perspective, but I don't think that it is DB... it is not counter intuitive... it is what the WAW EXPECTS.
I was trying to give you a response that your W would not expect from you. One that was polite in that you had not ignored her, but also a bit dismissive. One that would somewhat confuse her and get her to wonder what the motive behind your response was. Left her wanting more. That's why "U2" would have been perfect for you. Especially after you gave me your explanation as to why you didn't use it.
This is just MVHO though. And I definitely understand doing things your own way. I did that many, many times. Sometimes I was right, and sometimes I wished that i had followed the advice that I had ignored.
Sorry if I was a bit cranky about it yesterday. Yesterday was a long day and I was bit snippy with everyone. Look at this way... at least I care!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I really do appreciate all the voices that pop up on my thread,
BTW, my voice sounds like Sean Connery!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Just finished reading all of the other posts from today. I agree... not nearly as big of a deal as the number of posts about it might otherwise indicate. Sorry if I blew it up. I kind of feel badly because I was the one who started the convo on whether or not you should reply at all.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Oh, I'm having a GREAT weekend Chatter! Indian food with W and some of her friends last night, beer and virtual golf with my buddies tonight! Tomorrow... NFL.
Thanks!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I really like what Denver says about getting them to wonder about us. I would to add that at the same time we need to try not to care what they are doing.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
And there's no way my Jaguars can LOSE tomorrow, either!!
I didn't know that the Jags had a college team on their schedule Starsky!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I looked at it like this, the more my W was wondering or worried about what I was thinking AND doing when we weren't hanging out a lot, the more her mind was on ME. The more her mind was on me, the less it would be on OM.
It gets them thinking about us. You don't want them to be thinking how you're a d!ck, but you also don't want them to think that you are completely like she expects you to be. Want them wondering.
When you are polite by responding, but short AND flat (no emotion or excitement) with your response, I think that what you are communicating is
"we are drifting farther and farther apart, I may be moving on, and you may be losing me. Think about that."
Good point there Denver. I'm hearing you mate.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
