Unbidden - thank you, yes small steps...small bites: I need to get my anxiety/stress under control.
So how to not be a caged person in the meantime... I actually like that statement Kat... I think I'll print it up and put it where I see it. Not as an excuse, but as a reminder to not be in a cage.
making the big move: I am flying out to visit with the inlaws in a couple of weeks with S and we will check out the schools. I have a referral for a family lawyer to see if I can even move or what my options are. I would ideally love to keep S in the same school all year, but I will put in a few changes below and see where I stand in a few months.
meeting up with friends regularly: I did find meeting with my friends this week helped my mood Friday. I scheduled meetups during my lunch break - so it was a nice break in the day, plus they are supportive. I try to not get into my situation too much because they know I don't want it to 'define' me. Also, I don't want to talk about it all the time.
Tomorrow a girlfriend and I are going to be attending a church service (first time in months). We also found that the church has a single moms group which sounds promising for both of us. And it has a divorce care group and one for the kids.
Re: H Someone posted in another thread about just go with the thought that their spouse was 'up to no good'. That keeps me from snooping, spying or asking questions. Thinking of how to make the most of my encounters. And HOW I am going to handle the button pushing. What my script will be. I am practicing that script daily, otherwise if I am unprepared I do feel like a caged trapped animal. Which means I will lash out and fight. So to not fight, I am working on humorous responses. To lighten up.
Was thinking about what made him fall in love with me. We had bad schedules then too. So... I had friends. I was social. I was into art, complimented him and smiled at him. I hadn't been doing any of that - and focused too much on negative parts of him for this year. Regardless if he and I work out together, I will be happier when I am doing those things.
I was trying something different with H today and will try it this month. It's not what I am used to, makes me uncomfortable in a way - but I am mirroring his way he showed his love for me way back years ago. I will post how that goes.
Me& h + S M: 13 t: 14
H moved 2/12. Own apt 05/12, EAs, PAs, gfriends, oh my! I'm done. 12/12
"I get knocked down, but I get up again.. you're never gonna keep me down" Chumbawumba
