My Story Part 4: New Beginnings

[timbits]

augh. just when i ithink i'm doing fine, things are going well, not a peep from h, he sends me a nasty email.

bit of backstory: my parents gave the both of us a gym membership for christmas last year. dad said he'd pay for it as long as we attended. h and i never really went much, and haven't at all for the last six months. when i left h, dad said that he was giving us both notice that he was going to stop the payments. i let h know that dad wasn't going to pay for it anymore, and he had to make arrangements on his own to either cancel the membership or make alternate payment arrangements. i sent him the email on august 14, and he responded on the 15 that he'd cancel.

fast forward to today, he sent me a nasty email saying, basically, "thanks for switching the gym membership into my name without telling me. it was nice to have a bill for a few hundred dollars with no warning. it was supposed to be a christmas gift, can i bill your parents for all of the bullsh!t hours i did helping them?"

the entitlement. what an @ss. first of all, the membership was ALWAYS in his name. this is why he had to cancel the membership on his own. we both went to the gym and signed a contract, dad just agreed to pay. and I TOLD HIM ABOUT IT OVER TWO MONTHS AGO!

augh. i just wrote him back, told him that he got the email on august 14, responded in the affirmative on the 15th that he would cancel the membership. i also reminded him that the tv he is watching was also a christmas gift from his parents, and i don't have that, i left it as well as the $1100 home theatre system that my parents bought. i also told him that i wouldn't be getting petty over finances if i were him, seeing as he charged my credit card for itunes and also stuck me with an overdraft fee because he didn't switch his student loans to his own account. i also told him my parents' wouldn't have given him that gift if they knew that at the same time he was planning on leaving me for a married woman with three children.

i then ended the email with my lawyers' info and that if he wanted to discuss anything like that in the future, to pay for his own lawyer (or get his parents' to pay) and not to contact me again.

just the entitlement got to me. i know that i got a little nasty back. especially when i said that obviously he hasn't matured any in the last two months, it wasn't my responsibility to remind him to take care of his own finances, and not to come to me looking for another dime. i've paid enough. i probably shouldn't have stooped to that level, but it p!ssed me off! royally! what did he honestly expect me to do? run over with a cheque? grow up! pay your own bills!

he had perfect timing. he sent that email 15 minutes before my friend came over for dinner. i ended up spilling the whole story of my leaving, his affairs and this email. she actually teared up with me when i told her how much i missed my old h, but this person was someone completely different. she couldn't believe it when i told her what he said to me. she knows h, too, and she said he is acting like a completely different person.

oh. and she did confirm that h is actually openly with the 2nd ow. what a shock. she said she didn't want to hurt my feelings, and that our group of friends are very uncomfortable with this and feel awkward around them. i told her i don't expect anyone to choose between us. i said that i don't wish either of them harm, but i think it's pretty sad that someone who was supposedly my friend would do that when she knew that h and i are still married. it's pretty low. but she can have him. at least i know who my friends are.

i felt much better after talking to my friend. i told her how alone i was, and that no one knew and that i didn't ever want to bash h, but i was just so hurt. she said that she understood, and that i've been more than reasonable over this entire situation and that she didn't mind me talking about it. it made me feel much, much better to get it out.

h hasn't responded to my email. i don't really care. in fact, i hope he doesn't respond. i don't want to speak to him again. he's such a liar. everything he tells me is a lie. and now he's trying to gaslight, acting like me telling him about the gym membership never happened. well, i have the emails. i save everything. if he sends me another nasty email, i'll get my lawyer to draft something up about future contact. can't really deal with his garbage at the moment.

i felt like also wishing him a belated happy anniversary. i almost feel like an idiot because i was starting to feel more at peace, and almost amazed that the separation is going fairly smoothly. and now he has to get nasty about it all. i'm not his emotional punching bag any more. he doesn't get to spew his negativity and anger at me. direct that to ow. or to someone else who cares. because my give-a-d@mn is broken.