My marriage of 25 years closely resembles that of the WAW syndrome from the first chapter of DR. My wife and I shared a computer and she got her own 4 years ago. About 3 years ago she locked me out of her computer and joined facebook, reconnecting with her old high school friends. About a year before her high school reunion, I noticed a lot of changes in her habits and personality.
Last December I had sort of an epiphany that I wasnt the husband that I should have been and decided that I would do a complete makeover of myself to change that situation. After a couple of months, she was telling me that this change was very strange and she was feeling smothered and pulling away from me. This puzzled me as I thought it would make her very happy. I was doing everything she had complained that I wasnt doing for years. I started wondering if her approaching high school reunion had anything to do with this behavior. In April she went to her out of town high school reunion(I had asked her if I could go and she told me no, that NOBODY brings their spouse to a reunion unless that spouse went to the hs)and met with an old boyfriend. They texted each other dozens of times over the weekend and the texting continued after she got back into home. I confronted her about the texts and in the heated argument I got the ILYBINILWY bomb dropped on me, along with "I dont want to be married any more", "we have nothing in common any more", "maybe we were never really in love", "I'm a different person than the on you married", "I cant remember a single good moment in our marrige", etc. They texted each other for 2 more weeks and then they stopped although I suspect they may have kept in touch over facebook.
The next 5 months consisted a of me doing everything I could including MC think of to stave off divorce but she told me that she had no feelings for me any more and even though she could see how much I had changed for the better and how much I loved her, the feelings just werent returning. Her brother, hearing how unhappy she was suggested that maybe she needed time away from me so she moved out 5 weeks ago.
About 2 and a half weeks ago I came to the realization that nothing I was doing was working so I stopped almost all communication which is extremely hard because we work at the company and see each other for a couple of hours each day. After all of this time away from her and no communication, I have felt my love for her slowly melt away to almost nothing and for the most part am only still in the game because I still respect the vows I took and the institution of marriage. I am trying to GAL and actually I am enjoying my new found freedom. I tend to alternate between thoughts of "maybe this thing can still work itself out" and telling her to "just file the papers and get this thing over with".
So now after 5 months of a living hell, I am just wondering how to proceed or if I should proceed.
