I think you need to sit him down and talk to him. Before you do this you need to get to a very good place of inner peace and be confident about what you're going to say.
When you sit him down you tell him that you're not doing this to be hurtful or to get back at him. You're doing it because it's the most healthy thing for you right now. That you want to live your life in a way that you can be the best mother you can. You want to enjoy your time with your kids and you can't do that when you're stressed out about your H being around. I think you can be honest with him and tell him that having him around stresses you out.
Tell him that you're fine being cordial and understanding of his needs but he also has to respect YOUR needs. He has decided to take your M in this direction and for obvious reasons it doesn't sit well with you.
I also wonder if you want to put in there that right now he does not seem ready to fully commit to you and if he cannot do that then you cannot "pretend" to be his wife. That may be hard to say but it honestly is the truth isn't it?
I would be just as furious knowing that he thinks he can sweet talk his way into overriding your boundaries. That is super disrespectful and you have a very valid reason for not wanting him there in the mornings. He is trapping you and putting you in a very awkward position that could have potential horrible consequences because of the lack of respect.
The anger you're experiencing could very much lead to a blow up if you don't have a healthy conversation about it soon. Or you'll just have to learn to deal with the anger yourself and to let it go but I think you deserve to be heard.
What do you think? What has been going through your mind?
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
