T and T, I appreciate your words. This site is a godsend so that we can truly be and share since we're in the same boat.

I'm fairly certain she loves me, just hopeful she can find her way back and fall in love with me. Part joke b/c of the "ILYBINILWY" and obviously a bigger part serious. Again, one of the weirder things, was that she wanted my "begging / pleading" narrative that I wrote shortly after the bomb dropped. Simply puzzling. I wish I knew what was going through her head. Then again, I sincerely doubt she truly knows.

She is gone and will be back sometime tomorrow afternoon / early evening. Earlier this week she had said she was going to a lake camp with a female coworker today, and really don't know where she went yesterday. My hope would be to break things off with OM. That's what I'm sticking with in my head versus 100 other bad "not fun" thoughts. And yes I realize to hope without expectations, as well as focus on me / the kiddos. Then again, out all some positive thoughts out there and maybe they'll come back. The past few weeks of normalcy and knowing that W and OM have been arguing is what put me back on the rollercoaster. My choice, a little less than detached - loving from a distance. I do truly worry for her physical safety when with OM, in case thngs go bad. He is a recovering drug addict (replace the drug if done simply with booze and has spent time in jail). Random thought to enter here, but I've been thinking that too.

So last night kids and I went and bought some gardening supplies (kind of a 180 taking them there by self - they normally hate that place wink ), then we rented some movies and got lost on country back roads.
This morning we all were outside using the garden stuff and having. Now were about to hit a park and a little (inexpensive shopping), Halloween stuff.
I'll check back later. Hope everyone is having a good day.

A few ((((( ))))) and Grattitude for everyone.