Kicking a$$ and taking names!

[reachingHigher]

Good morning all!

Snodderly, thank you for taking the time to write out these thoughts and advices. It's solid. I used to feel some offense with some advice I read here from the "vets" because I didn't want to believe these things could happen to me.

But they did happen and are happening. And I need to accept these these changes, make the best decisions possible, and move on.

I see that you were spot on with H texting while drunk. I didn't hear from him at all the next day. He doesn't contact me because he wants a R with me. It's obviously other reasons.

And even about tightening the purse strings you were so right. S19 had a late exam at the uni and didn't get home till 10:30 pm Thursday night. I told him to not think twice about using his meal plan ticket to eat dinner at the college and to go to the local store to get an item he forgot for a class. He chose to buy supper on the credit card we allowed him to have. Total of two purchases were less than $10. H was texting him the next day and wanted him to call to explain purchases.

I'm actually looking forward to post-D if it is going to be like this. We need to have our $ and lives split up if we are not going to be acting M. The process of getting there is killing me. If we don't argue too long about the settlement it could be done as soon as January.

My feelings are numb toward H. No loving feelings, no hatred feelings, no thinking he is coming back any time soon, and very tiny bit of empathy. I think once this D is over and I start to heal, I'll be in a better place to deal with him.

S12 was very sad just before bed. H & I had some great routines with the boys on Friday and Saturday nights for many years. I turned S12's lava lamp on last night for some ambiance but I think it might have triggered some memories and he is not able to talk about his feelings. That worries me but I can't make him talk about his feelings. He saw a lot of tears from me on Thursday so maybe he feels he has to be strong for me. Idk.