Back to Square One?

[Wendylon]

Thank you v much, Tori.

You are absolutely spot on: me saying something that allows H to think that I think he's inadequate is a huge thing. I guess I would need to let go of specific outcomes such as going to the restaurant I want to go to and make him not feeling criticised the main goal.

We are going out tonight. It's all confirmed. I don't know if he'll refer to my first (real) birthday fiasco. I won't bring it up and just try to keep the evening fun. I will listen and validate.

As for things H could do that would improve my sense of security, that (sadly) is a long list. I think I'm better off focusing on needing less reassurance from him though. He is a v self-absorbed, in the clouds sort of person, with limited capacity to follow through and hold on to details. He's a 'dreamer' and I'm an 'accountant' (not literally).