Wendylon, I think it's great you've poinpointed the behavior that produces strain in your R. By doing this, you've taken the first step toward eliminating all the risk factors. However, what risk factors are there related to your H's behavior? It would be good to pinpoint that too, bc at some point in the future, when your R is on a definite healing track, you will have to have a conversation about this.
Don't feel bad for phrasing the question the way you did. I think it was fine. What I would not do is ask him if he confirmed the reservation, bc then you're coming across as controlling, and assuming he can't take care of the reservation. Result: he feels inadequate--not good. Just let him do it, and if he made a mistake and you can't go to that restaurant, then too bad for him. He can suggest another place--again, let him handle this.
