KG ((((((( )))))))) thank you so much for your honest and helpful post. You are right. And i feel all of those things you spoke about. And i feel stuck as well responding in love to his indifference and hurt. But i am trying. I am trying to learn more, be more compassionate.

Sometimes its just so overwhelming though, isn't? Sometimes I think i would rather just give in to the sadness. Give in to the inevitable end to this sitch, so that i can end this hardship and pain. But i know that is part of this process. and i know that it does not mean that my R will be restored, but i know that my process is still not complete. So i want to continue. And i want to keep going.

I needed to read the bit on detachment that you posted. Its funny because I had read it on bug's thread a few days ago, but rereading it now, i feel like i understood the meaning a lot more clearly.

I know the feelings will pass, and I am determined to move forward with detachment. I think i am scared that with this latest action on his part, he is going to go back to being the overtly mean and hurtful man, spew about D and threats and take me back to square one again. I don't want to go back to square one.

You know how they talk about how some MLC men have the knight in shining armor syndrome with the OW? Sometimes I wish the Knight would come and sweep me off my feet far far away from this monster who has become my H.

Thank you KG. You are very dear to me ((((( ))))

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home