My Fears in GALing

[newman7977]

Galbaby, you're right being hard on myself, but this time I need to think about W's feelings. I want to change not to be that person like before where a touch leads to sex. So far I've done it since Sunday. I know she's not buying it yet but it seem like she is a little curious. I want to read your sitch maybe i will get more pointers.

Journal last night Thurs. W slept with me again even though it was my turn to be in MBR. I didn't mind although it was a little harder to not think about ML. I did better after 2 hrs of tossing and turning I finally knocked out lol.

I did cuddle with her and she seem better she didn't push me away, but I did stop after a while to give her space. That's another 180, the old me would've probably hugged her all night--yikes talk about smothering!

Today Friday, a few more positives! W actually initially contacted me with a text--talking about traffic. Normally her text is within the confines of kids issues. Anyway we texted back and forth, I ended the Convo since I was really busy at work. Actually my next 4 weeks will be crazy, working on possibly two trial cases.

I made time after lunch and called her but got the vm. I didn't leave a message I was just gonna say hi and jus to ask how are things with her at work. An hour later she returned my call I was shocked! We had a nice chat even though it was less than a minute. So baby steps! I'll take it slow, but if an opportunity for chats like this I will take it. As a matter of fact if opportunity for physical touch arise I will take it until she tells me to back off.

Also, the other thing SIL text me saying that W seem a lot calmer lately and that she (SIL) found a couples therapist for us and ask me how I was doing. This validated how my W was acting lately.

Tomorrow I have another opportunity to GAL with friends. But W insisted we go to her another relative birthday. She was getting frustrated so I didn't force my GAL with friends, she was planning on going too, I thought she was gonna say to go by myself. I will GAL with cycling buddies in the morning though.

So little improvements this week I hope it keeps going.

Tonight is not my turn to sleep in MBR, but guess what-- I'm sleeping there tonight

Newman