My wife did initiate the conversation tonight. I listened. I validated. I didn't get upset, angry, or worked up.
Her main points:
*Her feelings keep changing from one minute to the next. She said her end decision to split doesn't change, but her feelings towards it change from sad, angry, relieved, etc. Ultimately she feels better now that she's made a decision to split.
*She did ask who I've been talking to because I don't normally talk or behave this way during a conversation and it's weird.
*She wanted to know how we would split. She said we have a lot of "stuff" (belongings). She said she doesn't even know where to begin thinking about it because she's so emotionally exhausted. I told her I didn't know.
*She said she's conserved about what other people will think. That they'll think she's a bad person that didn't try hard enough.
*She said she's stayed this long because of our son. But said that made her a bad wife and a bad mom. She was crabby/impatient with both of us. It also didn't bring her any happiness. She decided it's better to not be selfish and stay because she wants to see her son more. She said it will make everyone happier in the end.
*She said we tried so many times. So many times. We are best friends and we should have just realized that instead of constantly trying to push our relationship into something more than it is. (Our history of breaking up/getting back together is great...)
*I did ask her why she thought we didn't work. She started to get annoyed and asked if we really had to go back and rehash our entire relationship. She didn't want to discuss any details relating to the failing of our relationship.
I'm devastated. I'm frustrated. I'm exhausted. I'm.... I can't stop thinking of raising our son in split homes and how hard it will be.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
