I simply began the DB techniques. Detach, be in good spirits, do some 180s. It was all fake. How can I really do 180s when I am lying to everyone, including myself.
180s do feel forced at first, the reason is because we want status quo in our lives. Whenever we change our mind is constantly telling us "quit that, go back to the old ways! It's much easier!" But when we stick with those 180's, a strange thing happens. At some point, we cease forcing ourselves to do the 180's, they become natural. They become normal. I had this realization yesterday, I did something for my W without even thinking about it and realized hours later that it used to be a forced 180 but now is just instinct.
Quote:
She deserves love. She deserves respect. She deserves affection. She deserves someone that will appreciate her, love her, kiss her…. I wish it could be me, but I am sure that it will never be me.
Why? Who better to provide it than someone who has been through the fire and is ready to give it to her unconditionally? Why do you think someone else will give her that? It is MUCH more likely they will give her the exact same thing the old you gave her. Now that you've had this epiphany it's time to redouble your efforts to get her back!
I agree with all of that ^^^. With the caveat that your 180s have to be sincere and real. You can't do them JUST for your W. So AS is right, they will feel forced until they truly become a part of you, a habit. But they can also feel forced if they are not things that you want for yourself. Make sense?
Why do you think that they feel forced?
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
