I, for one, would never leave a nickel tip. It's not my job to "teach" the world. Especially considering I don't know if the bad waitress/waiter might just be having a really bad day, like because their dad died the night before and they're doing everything they can just to keep their sh@t together. Also, I'm quite sure the waitress/waiter wouldn't "respect" you more for it, so it really depends upon what you're trying to accomplish in this sitch.
No... the waiter/waitress would have expected a 20% tip because it is expected and because they would feel entitled to it... even for sh!tty service.
What are you trying to accomplish?? Simple. Establishing that you deserve respect. Not by being an a$$, but by having a boundary. Not by chasing and appeasing the WAW who is active with an OM.
(facepalm)
Not saying that you did that here AT. I just thought that you gave her too much. It may have been a "silly" reply or interaction, but I view all of them as important... the totality of how you act and what you say in every given situation will impact how this turns out. I don't think that you can shrug off, or be cavalier about, any interaction with your W.
JMHO
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
And I know it wasn't a nickle tip... it was more like 5% I'm learning here.
I KNOW that I am hitting you hard here AT... Sorry... but...
At some point, you will have to stop saying 'I am just learning'.
Ugh... that hurt me to say.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I'm not shrugging off here actually... Just super busy at work and responding on my phone... Will gladly explain my thinking once I get home.
No. Not saying you are shrugging me off. I'm saying that your response to your W seemed lacking in thought and deliberation. I am a believer that every word and every action should be chosen carefully, with intent, deliberation, and purpose.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
There most certainly was intent, deliberation and purpose behind my response... Believe it or not, I VERY carefully considered every letter.
You see, W and I have had multiple conversations about the "U2" types of responses that people often give via email or text. Seriously. Like multiple hour-plus long conversations about that. (the interesting conversations you get into by marrying a writer).
We share the opinion that if people can't put the effort in to TYPE a few extra letters, then they might as well not respond at all. I know with 100% certainty that by typing a response like that, W would have seen that as me being a d!ck, as she knows how very strong my opinion is on that.
So the intent behind my response was to be courteous, but not pursuing nor d!ckish.
And I'm a firm believer in using W's name in our communications.
